Hot on the heels of last year’s Expendables 2 and the recent Bullet to the Head, Sylvester Stallone has taken to Twitter to assure his public that another expendables is in the pipeline. Adding fuel to the rumour that he entered into a pact with a witch in the 70s that means he can never stop working or else he’ll die, Stallone dropped little hints that could potentially provide real insight into his writing process.
Writing EX3 at the moment… there are going to be mountains of surprises..Took the girls riding .. They are loving horses like their folks
— Sylvester Stallone (@TheSlyStallone) March 13, 2013
From this first hint, we can see that Stallone’s very much a family man. But on the other hand, he has trouble separating tweets about his family from the exciting news that he’s writing another screenplay. His daughters will be please to know that when their daddy takes them out riding, he’s probably still thinking of fun ways to kill Gary Busey.
EX3 needs NEW blood and more humor…. The films were always meant to be more on the humorous side with moments of drama — Sylvester Stallone (@TheSlyStallone) March 13, 2013
In this one, the fact that he wrote ‘new’ in capitals suggests that he’s going to can some of the existing Expendables. Maybe getting Nicolas Cage is turning out to be a lot more expensive than he’d previously hoped – to keep his war chest full, maybe he’s having transfer big name players like Arnie to a rival squad, like the upcoming RED sequel. Plus it’s really adorable how he assumes fans were taking the first two Expendables movies seriously. Hopefully, ‘more humor’ in EX3 doesn’t translate to ‘more meathead macho antics’.
No S. Seagal, sorry ,but maybe we get lucky with J. Chan! And some young bloods!!! — Sylvester Stallone (@TheSlyStallone) March 13, 2013
“Slam, Seagal! You’re not getting in on MY movie!” This was definitely to be expected. The rest of the cast are in pretty great shape for guys averaging 55 years of age. Steven Seagal, on the other hand, looks like a fat mess with stick-on ponytail. But when it comes to bringing the humour, you can’t go far wrong with Jackie Chan (Brackie!).
By young I mean 22 to 27. Not big bruisers but tech wizard, super brains and a young woman who is not a sex symbol but funny ,tough,REAL — Sylvester Stallone (@TheSlyStallone) March 13, 2013
Ah, so the new blood he’s looking for will the in the form of a smart, intelligent young actor Stallone can stuff in the Expendables’ remote command headquarters. Will there be scenes where he’s hacking into an enemy computer system? Or will he mostly stare at green maps and shouting cliches like “Abort! Pull out!” or “Are you guys insane!”
Plus a new “funny ,tough,REAL” young woman? Please, Sylvester: you’re never going to attract that kind of classy lady if you insisting on flouting the basic rules of punctuation!
In any case, consider us thoroughly teased.
No date has been set from the release of Expendables 3, but expect it to land sooner than you think. They can’t afford to wait around and let their stars get even older.