There are loads of romance films that come out every year, especially around Valentine’s Day. As a nation of cinephiles, we just can’t get enough of movies dealing with matters of the heart. In fact, there are very few studio films these days without romantic subplots. Michael Bay has certainly never made a film in which the guy doesn’t get the girl at the end.
But what is it that separates your average romantic film from an all-time classic? Sure, the writing needs to be good and the direction has to be well-measured. And if the actors don’t have any chemistry, then we’re hardly going to believe the story either.
But there’s one thing that all great film romances have in common: relatability. If people can recognise something familiar in the relationships they see on screen, the stories start to take on a new dimension. If a couple can finish watching a film and say “those two are just like us”, you can bet they’re onto something special.
So which movie couple are you and your partner most like? Take a peek through our special Valentine’s guide and discover your Hollywood love equivalents!
Guys:are you a cynical man’s man in a self-imposed exile, perhaps nursing a broken heart?
Gals: do you believe yourself to be both impulsive and idealistic, often caught between passion and your desire to defeat Nazis?
If so, you might be Rick and Ilsa from Casablanca!We’re sorry to be the bearer of bad news but despite the fact that yours is a relationship that burns with the passion of a thousand suns, it is one that’s ultimately doomed to fail. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but one day…
Guys: did you grow up believing that you’d never truly be happy until the day you met the one. Did this belief stem from early exposure to sad British pop music and a total mis-reading of the movie ‘The Graduate’?
Gals: do you have a pragmatic view of relationships that has developed since the disintegration of your parents’ marriage despite the fact that all men seem to have a crush on you?
If so, you might be Tom and Summer from (500) Days of Summer! You might be having a good time now but if you ever do split up, it’ll work out fine for both of you – the girl will have no trouble finding a successful husband while the guy will have no trouble falling in love with the next girl to show him the slightest bit of attention!
Guys and Gals: are you a happily settled couple whose lives are held prisoner by the demands of your pet dog? Are your evening plans regularly cut short so that you can go home and let the pooch out? Have your friends stopped calling you because they’re fed up of only going to dog-friendly establishments?
If so, you might be John and Jennifer from Marley and Me!Your loved ones all resent how you treat your dog like a member of the family. On top of that, it’s been almost a year since you spent the night out together without calling one of your idiot mates to dog sit. Solution: wait for the dog to pass away. Once Fido’s dead, you’ll be left with only fond memories and a lot of free time to go salsa dancing!
Gals: are you an overly defensive harridan who refused love at every turn until a special someone won you over with a grand demonstration of affection?
Guys: were you paid by a relative stranger to woo your current girlfriend for the express purpose of allowing him to hit on her younger sister?
If so, you might be Patrick and Kat from 10 Things I Hate About You!Now look, girls — there are worse things in this world than having a relationship built upon lies. Sure, he only pretended to like you as part of a secret financial transaction. But at least he’s got nice hair, right?
Gals and Guys: are you a long-term couple? Have you found yourselves growing away from each other? Has your relationship deteriorated to the point where you can’t even remember why you got together in the first place? Would you consider having your memories of each other removed in a highly experimental medical procedure?
If so, you might be Clementine and Joel from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind!You can do and say whatever you like to each other this Valentine’s Day — you’re sure as heck not going to remember any of it once this technology becomes real.
Guys: are you a self-involved big-city dweller who spends an awful lot of time on social networking sites? Are you naive enough to believe anything you’re told by someone online?
Gals: are you really cagey about meeting people in real life? Do you prefer to speak over the phone when you’re revealing details about your highly improbable life story?
If so, you might be Nev and ‘Megan’ from Catfish!Your friends might wonder why you’ve never met in real life, but you really have to ignore them if you want your relationship to continue flourishing. Guys: make sure you don’t ask her any tough questions. Ever. Even if there are glaring logical inconsistencies with your girl’s back story, just ignore them, okay? Ignore them forever.
Gals: are you a sensitive, irrepressibly passionate woman who enjoys creating things with your own hands?
Guys: are you dead?
If so, you might be Sam and Molly from Ghost!Guys: for an über-romantic Valentine’s Day surprise, possess the body of your sassy African-American friend and take your girl for a night out on the town! If you’re stuck for fun couple-y activities to do, why not hunt down the man that killed you and impale him on a piece of jagged glass?
Guys: are you a successful business professional who makes a living purchasing companies and selling the parts off piecemeal?
Gals: Did you move to the big city with dreams of success only to find yourself doing an unpleasant job to make ends meet before being whisked away by an older gentleman?
If so, you might be Edward and Vivian from Pretty Woman! Congratulations – you are pretty much in a fairy tale relationship, with exception of the fact you’ll have to make up a new story to tell your grandkids. But at least you’ll all be rich, right?
Guys: are you a devoted family man with an occasional tendency for adultery?
Gals: are you a strong-willed, attractive professional with little care for animal welfare? Do you NEVER take ‘no’ for an answer? If your partner ever left you, would you totally ‘lose it’?
If so, you might be Dan and Alex from Fatal Attraction! And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. It just means that your relationship is very passionate.
(psst… Hey! Men! Listen… You really need to leave the country. Like, now. This chick might be totally crazy. She could very well murder you. I know a guy who can make a new passport for a thousand quid. DM me on Twitter for details. Good luck.)
If you’re looking to stay in and watch a film on Valentine’s Day, why not check out our Hopelessly in Love Collection for some of our favourite movie romances.
If you’re not into all those sickly-sweet ‘chick flicks’, we’re got our Hopeless at Love collection where you’ll find pictures with a darker view of romance!