Ever since A Dangerous Method introduced us to the concept of Carl Jung: sexy psychoanalyst, we’ve been obsessing over our favourite headshrinkers from film and TV. They’re an indispensable part of modern cinema: every single movie hero seems to be going to therapy, vocalising their every weakness and desire:
“I can’t go back to the army, doc”;
“I’m in love with two men!”;
“I’m scared of the water, but I’m going on a beach holiday now”, etc…
For the most part, fictional analysts aren’t characters so much as they are exposition deliverymen, setting up plot strands in a short amount of time. But why don’t they get to play romantic leads more often? After all, psychiatrists would be the perfect lead in a Mills & Boon-type story: they dress well, they’re good listeners, and they make decent money. Anyway – rant over.
Here are some poster mash-ups featuring some of our favourite romantic exponents of ‘the talking cure’.
Carl Jung, the famed forefather of modern analytic psychology is cryogenically frozen for almost 100 years. Adjusting to modern life and attempting to find love, he opens a practice using his severely outdated psychiatric techniques!
Charting the decades-long relationship between Sally Albright (Meg Ryan), an attractive obsessive-compulsive and Harry Burns (Billy Crystal), a cynical psychiatrist who’s battling his own loneliness! Will they eventually end up together, or will Harry’s sense of professional propriety get the better of him?
Young Bella Swan moves to live with her father in Washington State, where she is torn between her forbidden love for two suitors: Seattle psychiatrists Frasier and Niles Crane! Naturally, her friends and family do not approve of their relationships on account of how old and creepy they are! Frasier and Niles engage in one of their usual games of one-upmanship, doing some potentially awkward things like hide in the bushes outside Bella high school and stealing opera tickets from each other.
Three married couples comprised of wealthy African-Americans find their group dynamic upset when one of their friends Dianne (Sharon Leal) gets married to Jonathan Crane, a disgraced former psychiatrist-turned-super-villain. While the other couples worry about ‘rich people problems’ like BlackBerry addiction and a flagging sex life, newlywed Dianne lives in a state of perpetual terror as her husband constantly doses her with his patented fear gas.
The world’s first combination analyst and therapist, Tobias Fünke (David Cross) goes on a road trip across America, helping patients discover ‘the man inside them’. As his unorthodox methods yield unexpected results, he quickly runs afoul of the law. He goes on the run from various government agencies and as a result, becomes a TV sensation (meaning he’s a big hit with all the TVs).
Young wallflower Baby (Jennifer Grey) is sent to a ‘health spa’ in the Catskills where she is placed under the care of Dr Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins), who uses dance therapy to bring Baby out of her shell. At first, they’re at odds with each other but the good doctor soon finds himself feeling protective towards her. The film ends in a competition where Lecter wears the face of a rival dancer, taking his place and intentionally tanking the routine so that Baby wins.